Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Inappropriate Laughter Gets Me in Trouble with my Kids

Did you ever play that game when you were little where you would try to make the other person laugh or smile by saying "Don't Smile.....don't smile" over and over again??? Remember how hard it was to sit there and keep a straight face when all you wanted to do was burst into laughter? That's how it's been for me lately when I've had to discipline my kids.

I have a pretty immature sense of humor for being almost 30 (and by "almost" I mean in two loooong years). I still get the giggles when I'm in a public bathroom and someone passes gas (totally just giggled out loud) or when someone gets hurt (but not too hurt.) Poor Jon. He used to get terrible charlie horses in the middle of the night and would wake up screaming in agony. I would just lie there and giggle until they'd pass. Or when he catches his "raptor toe", as I like to call it, on a door frame or coffee table. I cannot control my laughter as he's rolling around on the floor.

Once when I was growing up, I attempted to flick a piece of corn at my older sister who was making faces from the opposite end of the dinner table. My dad had taken his seat on the couch adjacent to the dining room table.  As I flicked the piece of corn at my sister, it took a detour and pegged my dad in the back of the head. HE WAS SOOOO MAD! At 6'1 and 250+ pounds, my no-nonsense police officer father can be pretty intimidating. I knew right away that I was in deep doo doo as he yelled "WHO'S THROWING FOOD?!" All I could do was burst into laughter. I'm pretty sure I got grounded for a month but all I remember was not being able to contain myself. Trying with every ounce of my strength to contain my laughter and it pouring out with a snort and a cough. The harder I tried not to laugh, the harder I did laugh.

Unfortunately, my 6 year old seems to have a very similar sense of humor. One of his absolute favorite things in the whole wide world is watching America's Funniest Home Videos. Although some of it may be genetic, I feel Tom Bergeron plays a major role in defining his sense of humor. This is where he learned what a "groin" was. Super! Thanks, Tom.

Lately, I've had a really hard time maintaining my composure while disciplining my children. My immature sense of humor gets the best of me and I am forced to snort and choke back all laughter that is dying to come bursting out! It's not a good thing at all. It's extremely detrimental to the cause when you're giggling while dishing out punishments. Let me show you a few examples:

A few weeks back Gavin was playing outside with his cousins and got hit in the "bad spot" with a ball. On my way to see if he was okay I hear him shout "Ohhhh man! I just got hit in the boing boings!" I had to choke back the laughter while I told him that it was rude to talk about his "boing boings" in front of other people. Try saying that sentence with a straight face. "It's not polite to talk about your 'boing boings' in front of other people. I don't want to hear that again." - Are you laughing? Smiling maybe? Okay...well... maybe it is just me.

 Last night sitting at the dinner table that cat was attacking the table cloth right under Gavin's chair. She jumped up and swatted and ended up hitting Gavin right in between the legs. He started giggling and said "She's trying to scratch my undercarriage!" I could not help myself.  Raspberry Crystal Lite shot out my nose across the table as I giggled uncontrollably. Undercarriage?! Really?! I think I've used that word maybe twice in my whole life. I totally blame Tom for this one!! Since this was a second offense I decided I would go into more depth with Gavin about talking about his private parts in front of other people, especially at the dinner table. They call them "private parts" because they really are private. No one needs to see them, no one needs to hear about them. I may have to have this conversation again when the tone is a little more serious. It's hard for him to take me seriously when I can't keep from smiling and giggling. Bottom line was Gavin's "undercarriage" is not an appropriate subject for the dinner table. CREATIVE, but not appropriate. Hilarious even, but still inappropriate.

Later last night, after Jon had left for a meeting in Denver and I had put the kids to bed for the night, I sat down to catch up on my Grey's Anatomy. I had gotten about 30 minutes into the show when I heard some chatter coming from Gavin and Tanner's bedroom. At first it kind of sounded like crying, but as I got closer I could tell that it was singing. I had already gotten after the boys several times that night for not going to sleep and horseplaying. So I listened carefully to see if it was one or both of them..... that's when I heard this coming from my funny little boy's mouth:

"Doot do do do do Manah Manah. Doot do do do. Manah manah"  With impressive accuracy my little boy was singing his little heart out to this muppet's melody. Trying as hard as I could to not laugh hysterically, I asked him what he was doing. He just kept on a singing like he didn't even hear me. So I asked him again "Gavin, what are you doing?" He replied flatly "singing." I reminded him that it was extremely late and that he had early school tomorrow and he needed a good night's rest, then went back to my spot on the couch and laughed until tears came out.

I love that my kids are so funny and can make me smile when it would be easy to scream. It makes being a good, level headed mommy easy to do. Now if only I could stop laughing when I'm disciplining them so they take me seriously! I guess it's a good problem to have :D

Friday, October 19, 2012

PINTERESTing Recipes

Okay, a little known fact about how things go down in the Stanley household. I'm a terrible cook. I MEAN TERRIBLE! I once tried to make a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and managed to turn it into a gooey paste that you couldn't even swallow because it stuck to everything it touched. It was horrible. I know what you're thinking: "How hard is it to follow a simple recipe?" Seriously, if it can be will be burned (flesh included). My husband, on the other hand, LOVES to cook and is pretty spectacular at it. He's really creative with cooking and knows how to make a lot of things. Because of this, Jon is typically the one who makes dinner every night.

Lately I've been feeling a little self conscious about my lack of cooking skills. I mean, really. Whenever women find out that I don't really cook I can feel them judging me! They get this smug look on their face like "MUST BE NICE!" Let me assure you, I do more than my fair share around this house. It's not like I sit on my bum watching episodes of Grey's Anatomy/Glee/Army Wives/Ugly Betty/Desperate Housewives/Drop Dead Diva/Bones/The Office/How I Met Your Mother on Netflix all day long while my husband works his butt off. Oh wait... okay maybe SOMETIMES I do that. When my dad found out that I don't really cook much he was appalled! He's pretty old school. He told me that it was my responsibility as the wife and I don't work (I actually have two jobs and take care of my kids/house and manage to volunteer as a Girl Scout Troop Leader). Anyway, I was really starting to feel a little guilty that Jon works all day then comes home and makes dinner. He says that he likes to cook and that it relaxes him, but even I can tell there are days that he just doesn't feel like cooking. So I felt like maybe I could help out a little every once in awhile.

Now, I have a little obsession. It's called Pinterest. I can spend hours on that site pinning ideas for home decorating, or cute outfits I want to magically appear into my closet, or fun ideas for my kids and girl scouts. I think I need a PINtervention. (Just for you Cammie because I know how much you love the corny play on words) But one of my favorite things to pin on Pinterest is recipes! I've actually used quite a few and thought I would share the ones I've used and if I loved or hated them.

Bang Bang Shrimp

Of all the recipes I've tried from Pinterest, this one is my absolute favorite! Jon and I hosted my family for Christmas last year and instead of having a huge dinner (like we do on Christmas Eve) we had snacks and treats. This FLEW off the table and it's SO easy to make! We actually buy pre-breaded shrimp from Shamrock instead of breading it ourselves. One of the many perks of my husband working for a food provider!

Pepperoni Roll Ups
This one is pretty much fool proof, which makes it a winner in my book! I tend to make these when Jon is out of town (he's not a huge fan). I serve them with little cup of pizza sauce on the side because my kids will eat anything they get to DIP. They're pretty yummy!!

Pizza Casserole
Awhile back my cousin was struggling with some pretty serious medical stuff and had to have some major surgery. I offered to bring him and his family dinner and decided to try this recipe out. I made a double batch and after we dropped it off at their house came home to eat.  I seriously felt AWFUL that I brought it to them. It was not very appetizing. In fact, I would go right out and say it was GROSS! Let's be honest... I like food. There's not a whole lot out there that I wont eat. But you can add this one to that list now!  And I seriously got a mad case of heart burn after eating what little bit I managed to swallow. No disrespect intended, try it if you like... let me know what you think.

Mexican Pizza
Are you seeing a trend? My family likes "pizza". This really is no big secret but it's something that I added to my menu planning because it's easy and my kids gobble it up!

Crock Pot Cream Cheese Chile
There's not much to screw up with this recipe. You just dump it all in the crock pot and 6 hours later feed it to your family! It suggests to serve it over rice but my family just eats it like a soup or chili. I've made it twice now and my family LOVES it. WARNING: It seriously looks like someone barfed in the bowl, but I promise you it is sooo yummy! On a side note, I made this for my sister and her family after my brother-in-law had surgery. He's kind of a picky eater and doesn't like chunks of tomatoes or black beans. So I switched it up a little and used tomato sauce and chili beans. It came out pretty good! Also, a second warning on this one. DO NOT leave this in the crockpot overnight to "soak". It gets all sorts of stanky and nasty really super fast. Woof.

Cheesy Vegetable Chowder

Jon and I LOVE soups. My kids could really take them or leave them, but they ate this one up like crazy!! This is another one that I've made a few times and every single time it tastes sooo good. Pretty easy to make too!

I've done a ton more, but I'm pretty sure not everyone wants to read a fifty page post on food..... I'll make a separate post in the future. Just some ideas to get those creative juices flowing for dinner. And remember.... if I can make these....ANYONE can!

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